I had decided to hold my peace about Nirbhaya but I can’t. I
just read a statement by a politician that Nirbhaya should be accorded a state
funeral! Sorry, that’s not what she died for.
She doesn’t need a grand funeral. She fought for a radical change in archaic laws
and in law enforcement. I watched a wonderful panel discussion led by Arnab Goswami
on ‘Times Now’ last night. The great
thing about the debate was the focus on action rather than platitudes,
committees of inquiry etc. Among other things the recommendations included a
demand that:
<1. No
politician who is facing charges of offences against women should be given a
party ticket.
<2. No woman
should be subjected to the humiliation of going through a medical examination
twice.
<3. The
judicial process should be time bound.
All these are
essential. Bachi Karkaria, pragmatic and
down to earth as always, added that all offences against women such as eve
teasing, groping etc should be included.
I've done a bit of work with women’s organisations, mostly in Canada but also in India. Going to a police station with a victim to report a rape can be a horrifying experience for the woman. I’m not trying to suggest that the police or judicial officers are always insensitive but it happens often enough to form an unacceptable pattern. For starters, there is an utter lack of respect for the woman: What kind of clothes were you wearing? How did you behave? Did you make a pass at the man? Are you a woman of easy virtue? How many boy friends have you had? Where did you pick him up? These are questions that may not always be asked, but they are implied. It’s always defamation first and then rape. The tables are turned. The victim becomes the offender and the rapist is the decent guy at the receiving end of a regrettable lack of propriety. Poor chap. It was just a moment of weakness buckling under grave provocation. Why should you be stupid enough to take a bus in the evening with the guy you are dating? Lock your door, wear a nun’s habit and sit at home.
I've done a bit of work with women’s organisations, mostly in Canada but also in India. Going to a police station with a victim to report a rape can be a horrifying experience for the woman. I’m not trying to suggest that the police or judicial officers are always insensitive but it happens often enough to form an unacceptable pattern. For starters, there is an utter lack of respect for the woman: What kind of clothes were you wearing? How did you behave? Did you make a pass at the man? Are you a woman of easy virtue? How many boy friends have you had? Where did you pick him up? These are questions that may not always be asked, but they are implied. It’s always defamation first and then rape. The tables are turned. The victim becomes the offender and the rapist is the decent guy at the receiving end of a regrettable lack of propriety. Poor chap. It was just a moment of weakness buckling under grave provocation. Why should you be stupid enough to take a bus in the evening with the guy you are dating? Lock your door, wear a nun’s habit and sit at home.
It’s a question of values and mindsets. Granted chastity and
fidelity are important, more so for a woman.
There has to be a limit. Sita gets abducted and goes through the fire to
prove her chastity. A dhobi questions her morality and she is sent into exile
for the rest of her life. Sri Ram is ‘Maryada Purshottam.’ He remains faithful
to one woman all His life, going to the extent of using a statue of Sita during
a yagna. No one questions His character or expects Him to go through the fire
or go into exile again.
A man can have affairs, one night stands or whatever. It’s macho, isn't it? However, the same guy will breathe fire and brimstone if his wife or girl friend cheats on him. That’s not all. She’s dead if she so much as thinks of another man. Worse, if he imagines that she’s into someone else or has been ‘easy.’ The Othello clan is alive and kicking. A man may not go to the extent of killing his innocent wife but he will dump her like yesterday’s garbage and feel completely justified.
A man can have affairs, one night stands or whatever. It’s macho, isn't it? However, the same guy will breathe fire and brimstone if his wife or girl friend cheats on him. That’s not all. She’s dead if she so much as thinks of another man. Worse, if he imagines that she’s into someone else or has been ‘easy.’ The Othello clan is alive and kicking. A man may not go to the extent of killing his innocent wife but he will dump her like yesterday’s garbage and feel completely justified.
Any defenseless woman becomes a soft target for violence and
exploitation. There are cases where a
woman who has property becomes the victim of ruthless greed- she may be up
against unscrupulous family members, neighbors or others. Here again the
pattern repeats itself. She is made out
to be a woman of low character: We are not out to swallow her property. We are
trying to get rid of an immoral woman.
Change is always subjective. We need to change our values.
Let me end with a wonderful quote from Swami Vivekananda:
“All nations have attained greatness by paying proper respect
to woman. That country and that nation which do not respect women have never
become great, nor ever will be in the future...Manu says, ‘Where women are
respected, there the gods delight and where they are not, there all works and
efforts come to naught.”[i]
I hope, wish and pray that we take these words to heart in
the New Year which also happens to be the 150th birth year of Swami
Vivekananda.
January 4, 2013: I'd like to add a postscript to this blog. Nirbhaya's friend gave an interview today in which he mentioned the key reason for the high incidence of rape and offences against women in our country: The public bus in which the horrific gang rape took place circled the city for two and a half hours. After the rape, Nirbhaya and her friend were pushed out of the bus, unclothed. She was badly wounded and bleeding profusely. He had been beaten up with a rod and was in a bad state. They shouted for help. People stopped to gawk and moved on. No one had the decency to take them to the hospital. No one was decent enough to cover them with a sheet. They lay on the street for two hours in the midst of heavy traffic. When the police finally arrived, they stood there arguing about jurisdiction for half an hour. At the hospital the wait for clothes and treatment continued. Nirbhaya had to record her statement to the SDM twice in that terrible state. Her friend lay on a stretcher for four days before any one bothered to attend to him - that at his own expense!
Do we have the right to call ourselves a civilized society? There is such a high incidence of rape in our country because we are a people without a social conscience. All we care about is me, my family, friends and myself.
January 4, 2013: I'd like to add a postscript to this blog. Nirbhaya's friend gave an interview today in which he mentioned the key reason for the high incidence of rape and offences against women in our country: The public bus in which the horrific gang rape took place circled the city for two and a half hours. After the rape, Nirbhaya and her friend were pushed out of the bus, unclothed. She was badly wounded and bleeding profusely. He had been beaten up with a rod and was in a bad state. They shouted for help. People stopped to gawk and moved on. No one had the decency to take them to the hospital. No one was decent enough to cover them with a sheet. They lay on the street for two hours in the midst of heavy traffic. When the police finally arrived, they stood there arguing about jurisdiction for half an hour. At the hospital the wait for clothes and treatment continued. Nirbhaya had to record her statement to the SDM twice in that terrible state. Her friend lay on a stretcher for four days before any one bothered to attend to him - that at his own expense!
Do we have the right to call ourselves a civilized society? There is such a high incidence of rape in our country because we are a people without a social conscience. All we care about is me, my family, friends and myself.
<1. Collected Works of Swami Vivekananda, 7,
214-15.
Pic: www.newsprint.in
Pic: www.newsprint.in
